To find my new passion and start again...

So, normally when I haven't written for awhile I go over the past and what I've been up to since my last post. I want this time to be different. Lately I've been doing a lot of reading and even more thinking. I've also been trying a bit of online dating and a question that every dating site asks (yes, I've been on more than one) is: How ambitious are you? Now, I normally answer that I'm quite ambitious. I mean, I have a college degree. I've been to New Zealand. I have a good job. However, when I think of my life now - am I really ambitious? Am I ambitious at all? And I have realized, to be ambitious - you need a goal. Anyone can say they have a "strong desire to succeed" but, what is success? If you don't have a goal, how can you achieve it? How can you be successful? I've also been thinking a lot about passion. Being passionate. I don't know if you've noticed, but passion is sexy. As everyone who knows anything about me knows - I'm absolutely obsessed with Nitro Circus. Why? Because passion is sexy. The idea that these guys and gals took something that they loved to do, worked their asses off, and make risking their lives look easy is sexy. And they did it because they loved it! They love to entertain. They love to push themselves past the limit. And I'm not saying that I want to risk my life or anything, but I don't feel passionate about anything like that. I'm passionate about the relationships in my life, but I've never taken a passion and made it a talent. Does that make sense? It doesn't even have to be a talent - but I've never been passionate about something and felt accomplished in it. For example, I always wanted to write a book - that's partly where the idea where this blog came from, but I don't even have that many posts on this blog - and I have much less written for a book. Another example, my sister. She's passionate about running and therefore has taken that passion and accomplished something - running a marathon. Yes, I have done a 5k, but I didn't even run the entire thing! (I know, I did have food poisoning, which yes, I'm using as a valid excuse - but still, I could've run plenty others since then and yet I haven't.) I also used to enjoy drawing, but haven't done that in such a long time either. Therefore, it is time that I find a new passion and set a new goal.

Earlier this month I wanted to start drinking more water and though I haven't been drinking is much as I want, I have definitely been drinking more. Tomorrow, I'm going to start "oil pulling". If you haven't heard of it, look it up. I'll let you know how it goes. I've also been wanting to read more, which is actually going okay - but I would really love to read more of the classics as opposed to the "fluff" books I'm currently reading. Although, I did find an article about "The 16 Books to Read Before They Hit Theaters This Year" and so I think I'll finish that first. I've actually read a couple of them already so hopefully I can read those and then jump into some of the classics. If anyone has any suggestions (fluff, classic, or in between), please comment them below. I know I also spoke about (was that on this blog? I'm pretty sure it was...) how I want to be more financially healthy this year on top of being physically healthy - so since I haven't really done that New Year's "resolution", I guess I should start that, too. Seriously.

I guess these aren't really passions; but, they are something I can set goals for and maybe find a passion from them. Perhaps my ultimate goal is finding my passion. Until then, my little goals are going to include:

• Running another 5k (I'm signed up for The Color Run in July)
• I'm hoping that will help me lose 20 lbs. by the NYC trip (This is in August and basically I don't want to be sweating and feeling miserable as I run around the City - I'm going to see my first show on Broadway!)
• Make myself a budget so I can travel more or perhaps buy a new car this year. (The poor Malibu is getting very close to retirement.)
• Finish reading my article books by the end of the year. (So far I've read 2 of 16)
• Start writing my own book. (It's time.)
• Learn Spanish. (I'm thinking of getting Rosetta Stone.)

I think that's a good little list. There are plenty more things that I want to do, but I also don't want to put too much on my plate and fail. Let's see how ambitious I truly am. Let's see if I can find that passion, that drive that got me to New Zealand, that thrill of accomplishment that got me my degrees. I need to find my new passion and it's time to start again...

Where does the Time go?

So, another year is coming to an end. I can't believe it's been 9 months (almost to the day!) since my last post. So much has happened - I almost can't even think about it! Therefore, we're going to break it down month-by-month to get you caught up. (Not that any of you were holding your breath waiting for the update, but it's a good way for me to reminisce on my year.)

March
I left you in March shortly after my amazing experience at the Maroon 5 concert and right before the mind-boggling, awe-inspiring, indescribable experience at my first P!NK concert. It was her "The Truth About Love" Tour and.... yeah, if you weren't lucky enough to see it - I'm sorry. Let's put it this way - a few days after my mom, sister, and I attended her concert - I bought tickets for my sister, brother-in-law, and I to go to the extended leg of the tour. (The concert was supposed to be in November, but because of a vocal rest it was postponed until January and we won't be able to go.... I'm super bummed... but I'm grateful I got to see it at least once. The concert was on Epix this weekend though so I'm hoping it'll be released on DVD.) She is just so talented. She can sing (duh), dance, do acrobatics, and she is just an amazing person all around. Lora, my sister, really enjoyed the fact that she didn't want to swear because she saw there were young children in the audience so she sang the edited versions of all of her songs.

April
April brought on a few big changes to my life - I decided to add another furry four-legged child and got a dog. One of my cousin's has a Shih Tzu whom she recently started breeding and though I wanted one of the puppies from her first litter - it just didn't work out with my living situation at the time; so, I decided to get one of the puppies from the second litter. I felt like this was the right time for me and had everything in line (or so I thought) so I told my cousin I would take one and then all hell broke loose. As I've mentioned before, I lived with my great-aunt and rented out her basement and though we discussed (thoroughly) about me getting one of the puppies, she changed her mind once the decision was final... so, I moved out. There was a lot of family drama and I realized that it would be best for me to have my own place anyway. So, in late April me and "the kids" moved to a studio apartment in Burnsville.

May
 May was spent settling in to the new place and getting used to having a puppy in my life. The last time I had a puppy in my life was in 3rd grade when we got our Dakota. Of course back then my parents did all of the hard work - so taking care of Percy was definitely a new experience. Though I loved my pupper and enjoyed the challenge, it did make me realize I would never want kids - I like my sleep too much.

June
By the time June came around, I felt like we had a pretty good routine. I was liking my new apartment a lot (though I was NOT a fan of the management) and "the kids" were starting to get along a little better. (I think the cats realized the Percy wasn't going to go away anytime soon.) Of course during this time I was still working at AV and though I enjoyed my colleagues, I wasn't sure about my job. I really wanted to take the next step but wasn't sure I would have the opportunity and started looking for a new job.

July
In July, I was approached by my manager about an interim opportunity in Mankato for an assistant manager position. Of course it would just be temporary, but it sounded like a good way to get me to the next step. My manager advised that he thought it would be good for me - but would be a lot of hard work since I would be commuting. Still, I decided to risk it and apply; and, I got the job! Shortly after I started in mid-July, the other assistant stepped down which meant even longer hours as we were now down a manager. That meant that "the kids" were shipped to Mom and Dad's as I was working up to 20 hours a day when you include the commute. (It wasn't all work though, I did get the chance to attend The Package Tour with Dad on July 20th and took part of my first Color Run on July 14th. Both amazing experiences. I had so much fun with both and our seats at the concert were the best I've ever had. Nine rows from the floor!)

August and  September  were pretty much a blur. I spent both months commuting between Burnsville, Mankato, Olivia, and eventually Jackson as Mom and Dad moved to a new house at the end of September.

October
In October I was offered an official Assistant Manager position with Mankato, which was exciting and terrifying all at the same time. As I had just signed a lease in Burnsville in April, it was a hard decision but I finally decided to accept. That meant mid-to-end of October was spent finding a place to live (on top of working long hours...) October 19th I finally got a break though when Dad, Mom, Lora, Chris (my brother-in-law), and Bruce (a cousin) flew down to Cabo San Lucas, Mexico for a week-long vacation. Luckily I found a place shortly before we left so I could have a completely stress-free week.

November
As soon as we got back from Mexico it was off to pack up at Burnsville and prepare the apartment in Mankato. (I found a place through a friend of the family and let's just say it needed a little TLC.) I moved into the new apartment in mid-November and have been slowly working on it ever since. It also didn't help that I found out my pacemaker was conking out after 8 years and needed to be replaced. I had my pacemaker generator replaced two days before Thanksgiving - and though I had a great doctor and a lot of love and care from my family, recovery did not go as smoothly as expected. It kept me out of work a little longer than I was expecting and put a bit of a damper on getting the apartment together - but it's coming along nicely and I do like it a lot.

Now I'm just typing a quick update as I watch the Saints vs. Panthers game at Mom and Dad's in Jackson. I came home to pick up "the kids" as Mom and Dad were stuck watching them while I recuperated. I better get going though as it's been snowing all day and it's probably going to be a long drive home.

Wish me luck. Thanks for reading the update.

I promise I'll be back on before nine months have passed (cause I miss so much otherwise - plus, I have some big stuff coming up in January like NITRO CIRCUS LIVE!!!)

Talk to you then. Thanks again!

HAPPY HOLIDAYS!

Maroon 5

So, I've been lucky enough to go to a decent amount of concerts in my life; and, one of my favorite parts about going to a concert is talking to your friends or family or whomever who attended the concert with and reliving the best moments. This past week, I went to my first Maroon 5 concert and because of certain circumstances - I went by myself. Though at first the idea of me going to a concert by myself scared the living beejeesus out of me, (worst part? Finding parking, of course!) I actually found it to be quite liberating! It's so nice to scream and holler and sing along and be that obnoxious fan without having to worry that your friends or family are completely losing all respect for you. The only bad thing... I didn't have anyone to talk to about best moments, what I enjoyed, etc. So - that's what this blog post is going to be about... so, if you don't care about concerts or hate Maroon 5 or just don't want to hear me talk about how cute, sexy, or adorable Adam Levine is (and was that night), you can wait until my next post.

Owl City
Though I've never been a huge Owl City fan, I will say that the song "Fireflies" is insanely addicting and one of those songs that I can listen to over and over and over and over again and not really get sick of it. I mean, when it starts I'm like, "Crap, this song again." but I realize as the song is ending that I've listened to it yet again. So, Owl City is the first act and it was really cool since the lead singer is from Minnesota (the whole group may be, I'm not sure... I just know the lead singer is from Owatonna, I'm pretty sure.) So yeah, having a hometown boy opening for Maroon 5 was pretty awesome. I really enjoyed when they performed "Fireflies" cause they actually had everyone hold up their phones so it looked like there were fireflies throughout the entire Xcel Energy Center. Very cool. I didn't really know a lot of the other songs - just "Shooting Star" and "Good Time", which is always fun to sing and dance to, but considering the band mostly stayed in the background where you didn't really see them, the lead singer was able to keep everyone entertained by running our the stage (which was shaped like an "M").

Neon Trees
The next opening act was Neon Trees. I have their first CD, but not their newest - though, I will say I love, love, love "Everybody Talks". So, I would say I enjoy their music, but didn't really consider myself a fan. I was definitely more excited to see them than Owl City, but thought they would just be an opening act where I would know a couple more of their songs. One thing I didn't realize before the concert was that the girl is actually their drummer (I've seen pics of the band, but none of their videos or them actually performing.) That girl, I think her name is Elaine, is SO kickass. I adore her! She has an amazing voice and goes absolutely insane on the drums. Total props and admiration. Love her! Love the group! Love, love, love everything about them. The set was amazing and they were able to take their hits (such as "Animal" and "Everybody Talks") and add little inflections while being true to the radio version. I must say, the entire group was awesome, but it was really Elaine and the lead singer (Tyler?) who kept the crowd entertained. Tyler's dancing = jealousy-inducing. Yeah, it's that awesome. They also did a cover of "Don't You Want Me" which just made everyone's night - or, at least, should have.

Both of the opening acts did 30 min. sets with a 30 min. break between to redress the stage. Then, 30 min. after Neon Trees it was time for...

Maroon 5!!!!
Yes, there was ear-shattering screaming; and, though I have found that a lot of people aren't fans (I really don't get why not... but people make fun of my taste in music all of the time), I have been a fan since "Songs About Jane". I will say, until recently (and yes, perhaps by watching "The Voice" and finding that Adam not only has some amazingly good looks, but also has a pretty awesome personality made a big difference) I didn't have them on the top of my Concerts I Must Attend list, I have always purchased their CDs and love almost all of their songs. So, even though my expectations were pretty high (1. Because I haven't been to a concert in awhile, and 2. Because Neon Trees KILLED it just 30 min. prior) I was pleasantly surprised for sure. First off, Adam was great at giving the fans what we wanted - after the first song he stripped of his black (pretty sure it was) leather jacket and that just left him in a black t-shirt and (again, pretty sure) leather pants. Then after a few songs he took a towel to wipe of the sweat and threw it to the first row. (I'm pretty sure when he did that I heard the entire Xcel Energy Center collectively give a daydreaming sigh...) Their set was really well done - they started out with "Payphone" and then did a nice mix of old vs. new, ballads vs. upbeat. Near the end of their set they even had a bridge from the main stage to a mini stage in the middle of the floor were Jimmy V. (the lead guitarist) and Adam did an acoustic version of "She Will Be Loved"... this was done after Adam advised everyone that he thought men who attended Maroon 5 concerts were the smartest people in the world. (I believe his exact words after having all 18+ year old girls to scream were, "Gentlemen, start your engines.") Overall, I felt like they did a great job of making it feel like they were having a ton of fun and we were just part of the party. They actually performed "Stereo Hearts", too, and Adam even did the rapping normally done by Travie McCoy. I had a blast. They did the usual sing-a-longs and introducing of the band but their whole stage layout and everything just felt fresh to me (maybe I just haven't been to a concert in too long of a time.... luckily, I'm going to another in about a week-and-a-half!) It was fun. I haven't really been to a concert where it's an actual band. I have been to boy band concerts, singer-songwriter concerts, and my last concert was B.B. King. I guess the closest would've been David Garrett, but that concert was in a much smaller venue.

P!NK
So, as I mentioned above, I have another concert coming up in about a week-and-a-half and this is a concert I've been looking forward to for over a decade. (Yes, literally. I'm completely serious.) I'm actually going to this one with my mom and my sister so I'll be able to relive my favorite memories with them, but I may still document them... so, I lied. If you actually made it through this post, you may want to skip my next one, too cause I'm assuming it's going to be about the P!NK concert... though, I do have a few things from my life to update - but since I'm on a relatively long stretch right now (work-wise) I'm going to head to bed for the night... so maybe my next post with be about another concert or maybe I'll give you all a treat (yes, sarcasm) and write before then... only time will tell!!!

Night all of you boring people who actually read this stuff! haha. Just kidding. I do appreciate the support.

Peace and love!

Ahhh... New Year. Fresh Start?

Alright peeps,
    Well, believe it or not - one of my 2013 Intentions was to blog more... so, having my first blog post on the 50th day of the year is pretty good, right? I guess it depends on who you ask. I am proud to say that this is my second Intention that I've started though, which considering my list is about is long as my leg, probably isn't great; but, I still have 10 1/2 more months to do the rest. If you're wondering, the other one I've actually started is to cook more food for myself instead of eating out or going the the drive-thru. That Intention has gone really, really well so far (if I may say so myself). A lot of my other Intentions are the same as they are every other year, but since I'm not in the mood to feel like a failure right now - I'll mention those when I actually start them.... if I start them. One new thing that I did start but didn't intend on was becoming a mentor. Yep, that's right - when I got the call, I was almost more freaked out than when I was told I was going to be a Godparent. I don't understand people trusting me to be in other people's lives! I'm just kidding. Honestly, the mentoring thing isn't a huge deal. Basically, someone asked me to mentor a Sophomore from my old college as he is looking to major in a business field. I got to meet him early February and it was awesome. He's such a bright kid. When I was in college I had a mentor during my Junior year and we didn't keep in touch. I'm hoping that doesn't happen with my mentee as I look forward to watching him succeed and getting his dream job. Also, being a part of the program has started me thinking about what I want to do and what truly is MY dream job.... I'll keep you guys updated.
   On a completely different but sort of same topic, one of my best friends has recently gotten in contact with her birth mother. They've been sending letters back and forth and that is pretty awesome. Honestly, before now I haven't really thought about my birth family and whether or not I'd be interested in contacting them, but now... I don't know. I guess I still don't really feel a strong pull to get to know my birth family - but I guess I have thought about it a little. It's kind of cool that my friend gets to ask the questions she's had her whole life and actually getting the answers - but then again, I don't really have questions. I've been lucky enough to have a father, a mother, a sister, and now a brother... I guess I don't really feel like I missed out on anything. Not saying that my friend did miss out on anything, but I think maybe she felt like that a little bit... and I just don't. So, I guess it's not really something I'm interested in still... but if that changes... I'll keep you guys updated.
  Other than that, not a whole lot has changed since my last post. I'm still having a hard time figuring out who and what I want in my life - but everyone goes through that, right? (Damn you, emotional growing pains!) I'm just trying to focus on my 2013 Intentions List and making it through one day at a time. Today was just trying to check something off, get out a little internal talk, and now I'm going to watch some more "One Tree Hill", do some laundry, feed my cats,  and go to bed... next time hopefully I'll have something more worthwhile to say... I'll keep you updated.

Questioning Friendships...

So, I won't lie, numerous times (since my last post) I have come online, logged in, and thought, "I should really post something else" but I never did because I never felt like I had anything to say. I'm not saying I haven't had anything exciting happen since June - I just haven't felt the need to talk about it. I did run my first 5k in October and spent most of August and September "training" for it. I was pretty proud of myself with my time (39:33) considering I could barely walk a mile prior to training and I was sick the night before the race and lost 6 lbs. in 9 hours. (Use your imagination.) That week was also awesome because my best friend came to visit me for the first time in almost 4 years. We, of course, met in New Zealand and she had been there and Peru since her last visit so we weren't able to just hop in the car and visit each other. It was amazing to see her... until she left... when I cried... in public... but other than that, life has been pretty un-blogworthy. Unfortunately, the reason I'm posting now is because I have to get something off of my chest. It's something that's new and fresh and so my emotion on this post may be more raw than I would normally like to put out on the world wide web, but I have a feeling other have been through a similar situation and maybe they'll appreciate the fact that someone else is going through it... or maybe I'll just feel better for actually saying how I feel at this point in time. Plus, the whole 5k thing is a good segway... Anyway, hmm... I don't even know where to begin... When I ran the 5k, I was looking for someone to run it with me. I thought it would be fun to train together and make goals and meet our goals so I asked my best friend from high school to run it with me. I'm assuming if you know me you know exactly who I'm talking about, but if there are just random people who read this we're going to call her Stacey. So, Stacey and I were closer than sisters in high school, but lost touch when she started dating her until-recently-husband. (They're in the middle of their divorce as we speak...) Anyway, even after we lost touch, I obviously still cared about her and even called her on her wedding day (from New Zealand, no less). Anyway, years passed and we started talking again and even hanging out every once in awhile - hence why I asked her to run the 5k with me. Granted, the day after she agreed to run the 5k with me, she asked her husband for a divorce so her training didn't go so well and I admit, I was somewhat disappointed. I had asked her to do this with me so we would have a good memory together as adults - something that may be able to bring us closer together, but I understood that she had a lot going on in her life and eventually let it go. The day of the race, things went pretty well, but I still felt an unease with her. So, since the race, we've had a lot of discussions about our lives and our relationships - with each other and with other people - and just tried rebuilding a healthy friendship (cause we both admitted we had a pretty unhealthy, co-dependent friendship in high school)... Well, whatever, I'll get to the actual point so I can get to the even longer rant about what's actually on my mind... So a couple of days ago, I had finally had enough with Stacey when I realized that I was putting much, MUCH more into trying to rebuild our relationship (and people may think, "well, she is going through a divorce, she has more on her mind" but she already has a live-in boyfriend, so I don't think that's any excuse) and so I finally just said, "Ya know what? I'm done. I'm sick of this crap. I'm sick of constantly worrying about you and the bad decisions you make and I'm sick of the fact that you talk to me and agree you're making bad decisions but do it anyway." and she didn't respond so in my mind, I was done with her. Literally, 100% done. Then the next day I get a text from her, "I'm sorry for being a shitty friend. I really appreciate everything you've done for me and I'm sorry about last night." (Paraphrase as I deleted all texts.) So, because I'm an idiot, I wrote back asking her what she wanted me to do with that information. I told her that I accepted her apology, but it didn't change anything and asked her why she felt the need to write it. She didn't text back... So I waited... and thought about it... and thought about it... and thought about it... and waited. During the wait, I found out a friend of mine's fried from high school is missing and believed to be murdered as there is a suspect in the case and while I was grieving for my other friend, I couldn't help but think of Stacey and how even though I'm "100% done with her", I would still be devastated if something like that happened to her. I would be out searching the ditches. I would be pretty distraught - and again, I can't lie, it made me more angry at her because I realized that her apology text was a manipulation to make her feel better (which is the type of shit she's pulled before). So, after much discussion with other friends and against their advice, I texted Stacey one last time to say how I was feeling. I pretty much said that after hearing about my other friend and what she was going through, I realized that I would never be able to forget Stacey and our history and that sort of sucked that she didn't value our friendship to make it work. I was angry and upset and I thought she was a manipulative bitch... and she texted me back with some random text message - and I know why, she was still manipulating me, she knew that I would respond (which I didn't) to her random text saying something like, "Are you really that stupid? Did you completely miss the point of that last text?" and then we would start talking again and then she would win........ (and now the rant) Since then it's made me think, how many other times has she manipulated me to get what she wants? I used to always think she was just ignorantly blissful because things that she wanted just happened to happen for her... always... but now, I'm wondering - maybe she really is just this mastermind manipulative bitch who has screwed everyone over (even the ones she claims to care about) to get what she wants. For example, her soon-to-be-ex husband was someone who never really wanted relationships, he didn't believe in them, he only wanted "friends with benefits" but still, they were married not too long after they started sleeping together... and obviously she didn't divorce him (or ask for the divorce) until she had someone lined up already... and throughout our friendship in high school, she dated two of my cousins, tried to date two other of my cousins, and I had gotten in numerous fights with family members defending her, and I helped her move out of her small town, I helped her go to college (I freaking took the ACT a second time so she didn't have to take it alone!). I mean, seriously, I went above and beyond for her numerous times and yet, back in high school, people used to always say that I was too controlling of her because she always played stupid - but I'm starting to wonder now, if she wasn't actually playing me the whole time. Did I seriously just underestimate her so much and just not give her enough credit to see this? The last couple of days, all I keep thinking of is the fact that she's played me over and over and over again for the last 10 years of my life. It makes me feel so stupid and it makes me question EVERY SINGLE LITTLE PIECE of our so-called friendship. The worst part about it - I'll never know the truth. Obviously you can't ask someone you think has manipulated you for the last decade if they've been manipulating you for the last decade - like they would tell you the truth, right? So here I am, just having to "let it go" as my other friend says... but I mean, think about the relationships in your life - the important ones, the ones you said would be forever... how would you feel if you had to question every part of it? Sure, I've had friendships in the past that didn't work out and everyone knows my first love didn't work out, but even then, I never - NEVER - questioned how sincere the friendship was... never. This is the first time and it has completely thrown me into a tailspin. My family always tells me that I am too good of a friend (and they don't mean it in a good way). I'm the type of friend who would literally die for you. I know people always say, "I'd take a bullet for them" but honestly, I would. I admit though, it would be for a selfish reason - because when it comes to my friends, (my closest, truest friends) I always feel like I wouldn't be able to live without them. Granted, that list will change from time to time, when people drift apart or you meet someone new (your new "BEST" friend) but obviously those people are always close to me. I remember when my best friend now was in NZ and the big earthquake hit Christchurch (where she was staying). It was exactly 18 hours between when I heard about the earthquake and when she finally called. I literally cried for probably 16 of those hours and slept for less than 30 min.; and, when I did sleep, I had the phone literally in my hand. It was horrible and I hope I never have to go through anything like that ever again... but now, after this whole Stacey fiasco, I'm starting to question all of my relationships - with friends, with family, with everyone. How do you know if a friendship is true? What happens when you will always care about the people in your life more than they care about you? What if I really did just waste the last 10 years of my life being emotionally invested into someone who was just using me for their benefit? I mean, I know I'm still young, but I spent 13 years hung up on my first love... and I'm only 26, do the math. I have literally wasted my life on people who didn't care about me and now I realize that though my first love didn't care about me, at least he was honest about it to my face, and that's much better than being strung along for a decade just to find out that it was all a lie and a manipulation in the end... and granted, obviously I don't know if it really was a lie and a manipulation, but I'll never know and the fact that I even have to question it should say a lot, right? Well, obviously for the last 20 sentences I've just been typing thoughts that pop into my head, so no one is probably still reading this blog post, but yeah... I can't say I feel better, but I did just have to get it off of my chest. I mean, I feel better from "saying" it, but I don't think anything will make me feel BETTER except for the truth - and, of course, that's not possible. So, here's to hoping the the relationships in my life right now are truer than those in the past. Here's to hoping that I meet someone who cares about me as much as I care about them (eventually)... and here's to endings and new beginnings in life... I've had many in the past, I'm sure I'll have plenty more... Thanks for anyone who reads this without judgement. I truly appreciate any and all support. Much love to you all and I will try my hardest to have a happier post next time. Happy Holidays!!! PEACE!

Share Everything

Another two months have passed without a blog post. Did you miss me? I know you did! I feel bad neglecting all of my avid readers (please read prior sentence with sarcastic tones in mind) but, actually, a lot has happened since my last post. Of course the biggest thing would be the day I gained a brother. No, my parents didn't finally adopt a boy like I've always wanted - my sister got married. Yes, I know, shocking since I haven't mentioned her wedding in any of my other posts (again, sarcasm). Anyway, that week was absolutely perfect and incredibly exhausting. My "second sister" was here though and that made everything that much better. For those of you who don't know, my second sister is Lora's friend, Nathalia,  from Chile. Lora and Nathalia met 13 years ago and have been best friends ever since - even with the distance. Nathalia has been a big part of all of our lives over the years, but I must say this time around I really realized how lucky we all are to have her in our lives. I know it's going to sound really corny, but I have rarely felt so blessed as I did on Lora's wedding day just seeing our family and everyone who loves and cares about Lora and Chris so much. There are so many amazing memories from that week that I can't possibly go into detail about them all here, but I seriously hope I never forget them or at least the grateful feelings they make me feel.

Okay, enough with the mushy stuff - onto the rest of my life. After Lora and Chris' wedding it was back to the grind for me. Though I took the week before the wedding off (and two days after the wedding), I very soon realized I should've taken the week after the wedding off and, of course, got sick. Thank goodness I was only sick for one day because two weeks after the wedding I was off to Chicago for training for a couple of days. Training was a lot of fun and I was able to meet and hang out with some awesome people. The main thing I learned on my trip? DON'T FLY DELTA. I also learned it's not smart to agree to travel on your day off when that means that you're about to embark on a 10-day, 100-hour work stretch. However, if you kick that work stretch's butt it feels pretty good; but, I probably wouldn't agree to it again. Then again, if I didn't fly Delta I wouldn't have worked as many hours so maybe I would.... so, again, main lesson learned? Everyone repeat after me. Don't fly Delta. Something awesome did come out of the long stretch of working, selling, and training though. Lora and I decided to upgrade because of the new Share Everything plans and I also bought myself a tablet. The new plans make it so cheap to have on my account that I couldn't resist... and I'm excited to announce that I have typed this whole blog post on my tablet. I admit, that is the main reason I decided to write today, I wanted to see how easy it is... it's pretty easy, though I think I may have written more if I was on my laptop - still, you all get the main jist of what's been going on in my life, right? And to be fair, I did just get it today. So, I'll be signing off soon, but first just a couple of quick remarks to some family and friends. First, I just want to send thoughts, prayers, and condolences to any of my family members who may be reading this. RIP Uncle Frank. Second, I want to give a big shout out to my Goddaughter Lillian Violet who turns one tomorrow!!! Happy Birthday, Lily!!! "Auntie" Ashley loves you soo much! Can't wait to see you!!! And third, I just want to send out a generic congratulations to all of my cousins, coworkers, and friends who have just had or are about to have a baby. I am so happy for you all, but please, for the love of all things holy - everyone stop getting preggers!!!!!!!!!!! haha

"Boys Over Flowers"

Wow! It's been almost six months since I last wrote. I bet most of you thought I was done with the blog, but alas, I'm not. I will admit upfront that I don't really have anything new and exciting to say even though it's been so long however. The last six months have mainly been me freaking out about money and boys, but since that's no fun, I'll tell you about the fun stuff.

Wedding Bell Bliss!
Well, as most of you know (or should if you've been reading my blog) my sister is getting married soon. So, a lot of the last six months have been centered around that. Lora and her fiancee have been working their butts off making everything about their wedding special by making everything themselves. (No, seriously - they're making EVERYTHING by themselves. And though I wish I could've been more help, I've been trying to figure out this whole Sales thing and money has been a bit tight... so, not a lot of eight-hour round-trips to go help them, if you know what I'm saying.) I did, however, help make the kid activity books, stuff the invitations, and  get my Bridesmaid dress order in on time and I was pretty proud of myself for that. I'm so excited to upload pics as I recently just finished the ensemble by purchasing my necklace and earrings.And even though I probably could upload pics early since my look isn't on lock-down... I can't because I don't actually have the dress yet. (Let's just say that with every wedding there are little incidents and this wedding is no different. Hopefully a third is not the charm for the first two were a bit much and time is running out!) I can't believe how fast it's coming up. Last weekend we had Lora's first Bridal Shower in Bird Island and this weekend was Lora's second Bridal Shower with her fiancee's side. (Unfortunately, I wasn't able to make it to the second because I had to work.) However, I did make it to Sioux Falls with Lora on Tuesday to learn how to bustle her dress. It was her final fitting and I must say she is going to look absolutely stunning - bustled and down. (Shout out to Lynn at The French Door - she is amazing at alterations.) So really, the only thing left to do is the Bachelorette Party (YEAH, BABY!) and the actual wedding... Such a scary thought....

On less scary wedding news, my cousin got married at the end of March and it was one heck of a Par-tay! It was definitely fun to get all crazy with the cousins and just have a good night of dancing, drinking, and a "Brooke Davis" shot. (Oh dear, did I just drop a One Tree Hill reference? Yes, yes I did. For those of you non-fans, a Brooke Davis shot is Grenadine and Tequila... don't try it, it tastes like vomit.)

"Boys Over Flowers"
The other thing that has taken up a lot of my free-time is that my friend, Susan, recently got me hooked on a Korean Drama (since sadly One Tree Hill had their series finale last month). The Korean Drama is called "Boys Over Flowers" (or at least that is what it translates to) and is quite addicting... for people who can stand the melodramatic acting. Fortunately for Susan - unfortunately for me - I love that crap so I've pretty much been watching that every free moment I can find for the last month or so. (The really sad part is that there are only 25 episodes and two special features but it's something I can watch over and over again... even if it is super cheesy.) So yeah, "Boys Over Flowers" (with the help of Susan) has sort of gotten me into this new Korean kick, so I'm trying to teach myself (again, with the help of Susan) some very basic Korean and maybe even learn how to cook some Korean food (which is amazing, right? I mean, considering I barely know how to cook American food...)

Misc.
Other than that, not too much has been going on. I've been working hard to juggle work with family/wedding stuff and so far I think things are going okay, which is good considering the wedding is right around the corner. I'm working hard on my development at work and hope to see the rewards for my hard work by the end of this year. I wish I had more time to see my friends back home and especially Joss and her family, but I'm so exhausted these days I barely know which way is up. (Plus, I've been eating like crap and not working out so I just feel half-awake most days.) So yeah, I'm working on a game plan and look forward to putting it in motion and part of that game plan is to blog more. I'm really trying to figure out what else to say since it's been so long, but between it being 12:05 a.m. and my crappy health, I can't think straight. I do have to mention that I feel very lucky to have spent Easter this year with my family and the Mertz/Finstrom/Carl clans and also to have been able to spend Tuesday with my sister as we were able to go to the Great Plains zoo together, which we haven't done in years and years. I also want to give a shout-out to my best friend, Kathryn, who sent me a love package from New Zealand recently and that was awesome.

Though I know I probably will lose track of time with the wedding only weeks away, I do hope to be able to write more. It's kind of therapeutic in a way....

Anyway, goodnight for now, world. See you in the morning.

Oh, P.S. for those of you who didn't know, in March I got braces... yes, braces... again... to straighten out my teeth.... again. I had braces when I was younger, but then my permanent retainer twisted and that was that. (As my orthodontist likes to say, "Ashley, you were made to have braces...again.") I'm getting them off before Lora's wedding though, so six weeks down... five to go... but I guess that is something new... though, not exciting...