So, normally when I haven't written for awhile I go over the past and what I've been up to since my last post. I want this time to be different. Lately I've been doing a lot of reading and even more thinking. I've also been trying a bit of online dating and a question that every dating site asks (yes, I've been on more than one) is: How ambitious are you? Now, I normally answer that I'm quite ambitious. I mean, I have a college degree. I've been to New Zealand. I have a good job. However, when I think of my life now - am I really ambitious? Am I ambitious at all? And I have realized, to be ambitious - you need a goal. Anyone can say they have a "strong desire to succeed" but, what is success? If you don't have a goal, how can you achieve it? How can you be successful? I've also been thinking a lot about passion. Being passionate. I don't know if you've noticed, but passion is sexy. As everyone who knows anything about me knows - I'm absolutely obsessed with Nitro Circus. Why? Because passion is sexy. The idea that these guys and gals took something that they loved to do, worked their asses off, and make risking their lives look easy is sexy. And they did it because they loved it! They love to entertain. They love to push themselves past the limit. And I'm not saying that I want to risk my life or anything, but I don't feel passionate about anything like that. I'm passionate about the relationships in my life, but I've never taken a passion and made it a talent. Does that make sense? It doesn't even have to be a talent - but I've never been passionate about something and felt accomplished in it. For example, I always wanted to write a book - that's partly where the idea where this blog came from, but I don't even have that many posts on this blog - and I have much less written for a book. Another example, my sister. She's passionate about running and therefore has taken that passion and accomplished something - running a marathon. Yes, I have done a 5k, but I didn't even run the entire thing! (I know, I did have food poisoning, which yes, I'm using as a valid excuse - but still, I could've run plenty others since then and yet I haven't.) I also used to enjoy drawing, but haven't done that in such a long time either. Therefore, it is time that I find a new passion and set a new goal.
Earlier this month I wanted to start drinking more water and though I haven't been drinking is much as I want, I have definitely been drinking more. Tomorrow, I'm going to start "oil pulling". If you haven't heard of it, look it up. I'll let you know how it goes. I've also been wanting to read more, which is actually going okay - but I would really love to read more of the classics as opposed to the "fluff" books I'm currently reading. Although, I did find an article about "The 16 Books to Read Before They Hit Theaters This Year" and so I think I'll finish that first. I've actually read a couple of them already so hopefully I can read those and then jump into some of the classics. If anyone has any suggestions (fluff, classic, or in between), please comment them below. I know I also spoke about (was that on this blog? I'm pretty sure it was...) how I want to be more financially healthy this year on top of being physically healthy - so since I haven't really done that New Year's "resolution", I guess I should start that, too. Seriously.
I guess these aren't really passions; but, they are something I can set goals for and maybe find a passion from them. Perhaps my ultimate goal is finding my passion. Until then, my little goals are going to include:
- Running another 5k (I'm signed up for The Color Run in July)
- I'm hoping that will help me lose 20 lbs. by the NYC trip (This is in August and basically I don't want to be sweating and feeling miserable as I run around the City - I'm going to see my first show on Broadway!)
- Make myself a budget so I can travel more or perhaps buy a new car this year. (The poor Malibu is getting very close to retirement.)
- Finish reading my article books by the end of the year. (So far I've read 2 of 16)
- Start writing my own book. (It's time.)
- Learn Spanish. (I'm thinking of getting Rosetta Stone.)
I think that's a good little list. There are plenty more things that I want to do, but I also don't want to put too much on my plate and fail. Let's see how ambitious I truly am. Let's see if I can find that passion, that drive that got me to New Zealand, that thrill of accomplishment that got me my degrees. I need to find my new passion and it's time to start again...
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